Relationships and Sex Education – Secondary

To nurture the skills of resilience is key to providing young people with the ability to cope with stress, adversity, failure and challenges. Resilience is evident when young people have a greater ability to “bounce back” when faced with difficulties and achieve positive outcomes.

Resilience empowers an individual to value the importance of self-respect and self-worth, to discriminate between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour in relationships and to know when, how and to whom to seek advice when a relationship is perceived to be unhealthy – negative, disrespectful and/or harmful.

Schools play a pivotal role in promoting safe, healthy relationships on and offline. Rather than being see in isolation, embedding RSE across the whole school and curriculum avoids ‘forced’ conversations which can disengage and embarrass. Getting this right means not only a happier school community who are better able to get on together, but a reduction in risk taking behaviours, including early sexual initiation and negative outcomes such as unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections.

Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) should always be delivered as part of a planned, developmental PSHE education programme.

In any school that provides RSE, parents have the right to withdraw pupils from sex education but not from Relationships or Health Education. Parents have the right to request that their child be withdrawn from some or all of sex education delivered as part of statutory RSE.

The under 18s conception rate is significantly worse in Peterborough than Cambridgeshire, the rest of the region and the country as a whole.

Regarding STIs, the same pattern is true with STI diagnoses being more common in Peterborough than in other areas of the East of England or the country as a whole.

In secondary schools addressing aspects of relationships and sex education in an integrated way within a single topic has proven to be effective.

Schools should develop programmes of teaching which prioritise effective delivery of the content, and do not need artificially to separate sex education and Relationships Education.

Guidance notes for secondary teachers on teaching Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) (February 2019)


  • The aim of RSE is to give young people the information they need to help them develop healthy, nurturing relationships of all kinds, not just intimate relationships. It should enable them to know what a healthy relationship looks like and what makes a good friend, a good colleague and a successful marriage or other type of committed relationship. It should also cover contraception, developing intimate relationships and resisting pressure to have sex (and not applying pressure). It should teach what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour in relationships. This will help pupils understand the positive effects that good relationships have on their mental wellbeing, identify when relationships are not right and understand how such situations can be managed.
  • Effective RSE does not encourage early sexual experimentation. It should teach young people to understand human sexuality and to respect themselves and others. It enables young people to mature, build their confidence and self-esteem and understand the reasons for delaying sexual activity. Effective RSE also supports people, throughout life, to develop safe, fulfilling and healthy sexual relationships, at the appropriate time.
  • Knowledge about safer sex and sexual health remains important to ensure that young people are equipped to make safe, informed and healthy choices as they progress through adult life. This should be delivered in a non-judgemental, factual way and allow scope for young people to ask questions in a safe environment. Many teachers use approaches such as distancing techniques, setting ground rules with the class to help manage sensitive discussion and using question boxes to allow pupils to raise issues anonymously.
  • RSE should provide clear progression from what is taught in primary school in Relationships Education. Teachers should build on the foundation of Relationships Education and, as pupils grow up, at the appropriate time extend teaching to include intimate relationships. Alongside being taught about intimate relationships, pupils should also be taught about family relationships, friendships and other kinds of relationships that are an equally important part of becoming a successful and happy adult. This teaching should enable pupils to distinguish between content and experiences that exemplify healthy relationships and those that are distorted or harmful.
  • Pupils should understand the benefits of healthy relationships to their mental wellbeing and self-respect. Through gaining the knowledge of what a healthy relationship is like, they can be empowered to identify when relationships are unhealthy. They should be taught that unhealthy relationships can have a lasting, negative impact on mental wellbeing.
  • As in primary, secondary Relationships Education can be underpinned by a wider, deliberate cultivation and practice of resilience and character in the individual. These should include character traits such as belief in achieving goals and persevering with tasks, as well as personal attributes such as honesty, integrity, courage, humility, kindness, generosity, trustworthiness and a sense of justice, underpinned by an understanding of the importance of self-respect and self-worth. There are many ways in which secondary schools should support the development of these attributes, for example by providing planned opportunities for young people to undertake social action, active citizenship and voluntary service to others locally or more widely.
  • Pupils should be taught the facts and the law about sex, sexuality, sexual health and gender identity in an age-appropriate and inclusive way. All pupils should feel that the content is relevant to them and their developing sexuality. Sexual orientation and gender identity should be explored at a timely point and in a clear, sensitive and respectful manner. When teaching about these topics, it must be recognised that young people may be discovering or understanding their sexual orientation or gender identity. There should be an equal opportunity to explore the features of stable and healthy same-sex relationships. This should be integrated appropriately into the RSE programme, rather than addressed separately or in only one lesson.
  • It is recognised that there will be a range of opinions regarding RSE. The starting principle when teaching each of these must be that the applicable law should be taught in a factual way so that pupils are clear on their rights and responsibilities as citizens.
  • Schools may choose to explore faith, or other perspectives, on some of these issues in other subjects such as Religious Education.
  • Pupils should be well informed about the full range of perspectives and, within the law, should be well equipped to make decisions for themselves about how to live their own lives, whilst respecting the right of others to make their own decisions and hold their own beliefs. Key aspects of the law relating to sex which should be taught include the age of consent, what consent is and is not, the definitions and recognition of rape, sexual assault and harassment, and choices permitted by the law around pregnancy.
  • Grooming, sexual exploitation and domestic abuse, including coercive and controlling behaviour, should also be addressed sensitively and clearly. Schools should address the physical and emotional damage caused by female genital mutilation (FGM). They should also be taught where to find support and that it is a criminal offence to perform or assist in the performance of FGM or fail to protect a person for whom you are responsible from FGM. As well as addressing this in the context of the law, pupils may also need support to recognise when relationships (including family relationships) are unhealthy or abusive (including the unacceptability of neglect, emotional, sexual and physical abuse and violence, including honour-based violence and forced marriage) and strategies to manage this or access support for oneself or others at risk. Schools should also be mindful that for pupils who are or have experienced unhealthy or unsafe relationships at home or socially, the school may have a particularly important role in being a place of consistency and safety where they can easily speak to trusted adults, report problems and find support.
  • Internet safety should also be addressed. Pupils should be taught the rules and principles for keeping safe online. This will include how to recognise risks, harmful content and contact, and how and to whom to report issues. Pupils should have a strong understanding of how data is generated, collected, shared and used online, for example, how personal data is captured on social media or understanding the way that businesses may exploit the data available to them.
  • Some pupils are also exposed to harmful behaviours online, and via other forms of media, which may normalise violent sexual behaviours. A focus on healthy relationships and broader Relationships Education can help young people understand acceptable behaviours in relationships.

High quality RSE helps create safe school communities in which pupils can grow, learn, and develop positive, healthy behaviour for life.  Children and young people want to be prepared for the physical and emotional changes they undergo at puberty, and young people want and need to learn about safe, healthy relationships. Older pupils frequently say that sex and relationships education was ‘too little, too late and too biological’. Ofsted reinforced this in their 2013 Not Yet Good Enough report. It is also essential in meeting schools’ safeguarding obligations – again, Ofsted states that schools must have a preventative programme helping pupils to learn about safety and risks in relationships and RSE can help you to achieve this.


  • That there are different types of committed, stable relationships.
  • How these relationships might contribute to human happiness and their importance for bringing up children.
  • What marriage is, including their legal status e.g. that marriage carries legal rights and protections not available to couples who are cohabiting or who have married, for example, in an unregistered religious ceremony.
  • Why marriage is an important relationship choice for many couples and why it must be freely entered into.
  • The characteristics and legal status of other types of long-term relationships.
  • The roles and responsibilities of parents with respect to raising of children, including the characteristics of successful parenting.
  • How to: determine whether other children, adults or sources of information are trustworthy: judge when a family, friend, intimate or other relationship is unsafe (and to recognise this in others’ relationships); and, how to seek help or advice, including reporting concerns about others, if needed.

Respectful relationships, including friendships

  • The characteristics of positive and healthy friendships (in all contexts, including online) including: trust, respect, honesty, kindness, generosity, boundaries, privacy, consent and the management of conflict, reconciliation and ending relationships. This includes different (non-sexual) types of relationship.
  • Practical steps they can take in a range of different contexts to improve or support respectful relationships.
  • How stereotypes, in particular stereotypes based on sex, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or disability, can cause damage (e.g. how they might normalise non-consensual behaviour or encourage prejudice).
  • That in school and in wider society they can expect to be treated with respect by others, and that in turn they should show due respect to others, including people in positions of authority and due tolerance of other people’s beliefs.
  • About different types of bullying (including cyberbullying), the impact of bullying, responsibilities of bystanders to report bullying and how and where to get help.
  • That some types of behaviour within relationships are criminal, including violent behaviour and coercive control.
  • What constitutes sexual harassment and sexual violence and why these are always unacceptable.
  • The legal rights and responsibilities regarding equality (particularly with reference to the protected characteristics as defined in the Equality Act 2010) and that everyone is unique and equal.

Intimate and sexual relationships, including sexual health

  • How to recognise the characteristics and positive aspects of healthy one-to-one intimate relationships, which include mutual respect, consent, loyalty, trust, shared interests and outlook, sex and friendship.
  • That all aspects of health can be affected by choices they make in sex and relationships, positively or negatively, e.g. physical, emotional, mental, sexual and reproductive health and wellbeing.
  • The facts about reproductive health, including fertility and the potential impact of lifestyle on fertility for men and women.
  • That there are a range of strategies for identifying and managing sexual pressure, including understanding peer pressure, resisting pressure and not pressurising others.
  • That they have a choice to delay sex or to enjoy intimacy without sex.
  • The facts about the full range of contraceptive choices, efficacy and options available.
  • The facts around pregnancy including miscarriage.
  • That there are choices in relation to pregnancy (with medically and legally accurate, impartial information on all options, including keeping the baby, adoption, abortion and where to get further help).
  • How the different sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV/AIDs, are transmitted, how risk can be reduced through safer sex (including through condom use) and the importance of and facts about testing.
  • About the prevalence of some STIs, the impact they can have on those who contract them and key facts about treatment.
  • How the use of alcohol and drugs can lead to risky sexual behaviour.
  • How to get further advice, including how and where to access confidential sexual and reproductive health advice and treatment.

Online relationships and media

  • their rights, responsibilities and opportunities online, including that the same expectations of behaviour apply in all contexts, including online.
  • about online risks, including that any material someone provides to another has the potential to be shared online and the difficulty of removing potentially compromising material placed online.
  • not to provide material to others that they would not want shared further and not to share personal material which is sent to them.
  • what to do and where to get support to report material or manage issues online.
  • the impact of viewing harmful content.
  • that specifically sexually explicit material e.g. pornography presents a distorted picture of sexual behaviours, can damage the way people see themselves in relation to others and negatively affect how they behave towards sexual partners.
  • that sharing and viewing indecent images of children (including those created by children) is a criminal offence which carries severe penalties including jail.
  • how information and data is generated, collected, shared and used online.

Being safe in relationships

  • the concepts of, and laws relating to, sexual consent, sexual exploitation, abuse, grooming, coercion, harassment, rape, domestic abuse, forced marriage, honour-based violence and FGM, and how these can affect current and future relationships.
  • how people can actively communicate and recognise consent from others, including sexual consent, and how and when consent can be withdrawn (in all contexts, including online).



Local Support

Cambridgeshire Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) Service

Cambridgeshire Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) Service The Cambridgeshire PSHE Service provides guidance, consultancy, training and resources to support and enhance the health and wellbeing of children and young people and their learning. This includes the curriculum for PSHE and Citizenship: its content, approaches to teaching and learning and monitoring and assessment. We also

Read More About Cambridgeshire Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) Service

Centre 33

Counselling in schools Confidential one-to-one therapeutic counselling for young people based in the school and during school hours. Sessions with a trained counsellor for a series of 50 minute sessions. Support for up to 6 students, once a week for a period agreed by Centre 33 and the school. Centre 33 counsellors deliver the service

Read More About Centre 33


Dhiverse’s mission is to provide high quality sexual health and HIV support, education and information for all. Click on the links below to find out about the full range of services available as well as to visit the website. Call:01223 508805E-mail:

Read More About Dhiverse


The NSPCC provide a variety of group as well as one to one services to schools, many of which are FREE of charge. For information on the programme offers click below: To find out more simply contact the NSPCC Service Centre in Peterborough on 01733 207 620. Prior to making a referral, please contact the

Read More About NSPCC

The Kite Trust

The Kite Trust offers tailored staff training packages for all schools and colleges on LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, questioning plus other related identities) inclusion and combating LGBTphobic bullying (also known as HBT – homophobic, biphobic and transphobic- bullying). We also deliver assemblies and workshops for students across the age ranges and offer support around

Read More About The Kite Trust



Key Stage 3

Key Stage 4

Teacher Guidance